My weight increased and I began to feel distrust, what should I do
It’s not your weight the issue, it’s your confidence about that your more worth then those men. In the end you will be happy they went away, because they are useless boys who will never be able to give you the love you deserve. Fortunately there are still decent men around who can do.
You will lose the weight, you’re not so far away. But as I see my past self in you I would advice you to read some good books about relationships and how most men minds work to avoid you keep picking the wrong ones. You’re already pretty now and when you will have lost weight there will be even more around you . They will be attracted, but please don’t think that’s a sign they will love you because they are attracted.
try to read Catch him and keep him. I think it was that book who explained emotional attraction is what counts, not physical
First forgive yourself, you are human and made some mistakes. Mistakes are not forever if we don't want them to be. You know you are a great person, a little dedication and work is now required. Be happy, smile everyday into the mirror and you will feel better, even on a down day ( or hour) This FB and others do help you stay motivated. Forget romance, you have a child to raise first. You know the sun will rise again and shine on you!
do not let your head play games with you , and do not ever let a man make you feel that way , tell his ass you didnt mind when you got with me , and let me tell you some thing , you are to damn good for him . That being said , if you want to lose do not lose it for a loser , who could not see your beauty, because you are the same person thin or thick , its not you that has a problem it is the jack ass who can not tell what true beauty is . Now do what you have to do but do it for you !
I think you are overthinking this whole thing. The problem is you are lacking self esteem due to not being happy with your current size. I don't think anyone thought anything of it. Folks with alot more weight than you have gotten down to their goal size and you can too. Believe in yourself,you can do this. Just get started. Oh and next big occasion you go to you better have fun..Best wishes!
You are beautiful and stop being so hard on yourself!
We all have our ups and downs with men but they are no reason to be hard on ourselves. Unless you ex looks like Dwayne The Rock and offers to be your personal trainer at the gym and cook you healthy meals he can go suck it!
You are a very beautiful woman please don't let anyone tell you any different. You deserve to be happy and smile and be treated as beautiful as your heart is. Keep your head held high and remember to smile.
We may not be in the same room but remember this...you are NEVER WALKING THIS JOURNEY alone. Sure it may feel like it at time but there is always someone close by (in one way or another) that has your back and will lift you up. We ate in this TOGETHER! :)
if the bride was skinny it would be a different story? Or its ok to ignore the fact that this is a support group and the bride might be on here seeing these comments? People should be a bit more sensitive.
Also, the bride looks gorgeously happy (as she should) and is also a lot taller and standing a lot closer to the camera than the other two girls making her appear significantly bigger.
As for OP, I had a similar experience in my last relationship. I now focus on my best features (I love my smile and I'm very happy with the person I choose to be) so his opinion no longer counts for shit in my self confidence factors.
You beautiful. Men will always be men. Always criticising even the good things. Don't be hard on yourself. If you have to loose some weight do it for yourself and not becoz of people's opinions.
Woe you really beating yourself up for nothing you look good you have lost interest in your self so bad that its sad I feel for you.. You need to start giving your self positive comments like I'm string I'll get to my goal I'm a good mum I'm going to be a good role model for my kid/s... Take one step out of time an you will get to where you wanna be...
You might be overweight and that's a yes but lovey you are beautiful, don't be too hard on yourself, you have kids be tough enough to face life and don't pull yourself down, people will judge you physically but stand up high because you are a good woman and caring mom for you children, you can lose all those extra weight just give yourself time and patience, you are a tough woman because you're able to withstand everything to lose weight and to gain your confidence is just a piece of cake for you, you can do it .
Don't beat yourself up. For one, you don't look bad at all. Maybe there were no single men there. I have been to weddings when there were no single me but someone had to play the role.. So guys are like ok which one of you are going to play the role because I'm not catching heck when i get home. Maybe that was the case. I do not think it was because of you at all. I would like married or not they would stand up.
I was looking for a very heavy gal in the photo by the way you posted and nope you look absolutely beautiful and not fat looking..i think we all are too hard on ourselves..i hate my body daily but I also am going thru depression..low self esteem..keep moving forward take it day by day ..honestly you look great in the photo..we women especially never see what others do and honestly it's not fair that men with a belly are portrayed as a big ole teddy bear..its acceptable more.and women..ugh..its just not..
I'll be honest, and I'm not sure if this comment does more harm than good.... but I saw the pic first then started to read the post....
I 100% assumed you were the bride. But you the end, right?! Girl your stunning and need to gain back confidence!!! Men dont like catching garters anyways. I didnt even do that whole routine at my own wedding because I knew no one would get up and I didnt want to draw it out lol look, maybe just eat a healthier, work out like 20mins a day and drink a ton of water. I saw best results myself qhen I supplemented with vatamins and coconut oil capsules, etc. You seriously look amazing though. I was assuming a morbidly obese individual based on how you described yourself. Hang in there and take it one day at a time. You got this!
sounds like you already lost a lot of weight by getting rid of two asshole men; real love does not care about your size, get healthy for you and your child and when you gain your self esteem and confidence back don't let any man take it away again, the right guy will come along. you don't look overly heavy in this pic, you don't have very much to lose at all, I would like to be where you are weight wise, best wishes nd good luck
Your are beautiful! I support you wanting to lose weight for the underlying health benefits but you are so beautiful. Don’t let the people in your past define your future. Be strong stay beautiful be brave!
Girl, you are so freaking beautiful! Who cares what BOYS might think of you, because you got a rockin personality and that’s even better than a rockin body. Get in shape for YOU, not because OTHERS want you to.
I don’t think the men backed off the garter Bc of you, i think it’s because that’s what men do, they don’t like the tradition of thinking “they will be next!!” Please don’t take that so personally. I can see how you could but you are not grotesquely obese or anything. You are quite an average weight and beautiful!!!
GIRL YOU ARE STUNNING!!!! Please please please do not let anyone tell you you need to lose weight, do not let anyone put you down, if I was a man I would stand straight up to catch that!!!!! You’re honestly so beautiful it makes me so sad to hear someone honestly not recognise how beautiful they truly are. I really hope soon you realise how pretty you are, you’re not fat at all, you’re so beautiful and you really need to stop being so harsh on yourself, please learn to love yourself ❤️
You sound just like me. My weight always my focus, never allowing me to enjoy the moment. I think you have some body dysmorphia clouding your brain from the trauma of being mentally abused. You are not what you are saying you are. In no way am I trying to be offensive, but I had to read through your whole story to even know which girl you were reffering to in the photo being you, and I was shocked. Its time to start healing your mind. I was called fat and shamed in every relationship I had until I met my now husband. It's ironic because I met him at my heaviest and most miserable. He has NEVER insulted me in that way, I do not care how angry he gets at me. If I want to lose weight, he supports me so I can be happy with myself, but never has suggested for me to lose. Be kind to yourself, love yourself, and the rest will fall into place.
It’s sounds like in the past your weight has been used as weapon when others have abused you. You then, have taken on this opinion of yourself as truth. This mentality WILL NOT go away when you lose the weight. The only way this will go away is if you learn to love yourself again and that most likely will take therapy. These are deep rooted issues that you need to begin dealing with before you even think about weight loss. Good luck to you.
I was so confused looking at the picture. Girl you can do whatever you put your mind too! Don't let some foolish exes make you feel inferior. And as far as the garter belt situation is concerned I don't think it was because of your weight at all. I think it's because those things are uncomfortable and that's why most people get plastered at weddings. You are very attractive.
You are not a "big girl" it's in your mind!! you have to stop complaining and start taking action! you can do it! first of all set a goal, second have a plan, third stick to it and fourth goal achieved!!! you can do it just like every other woman out there!! we are precious, you are precious! don't let males judgement knock you down, you are a beauty!! take care!
I was like so many looking more at the bride, then realized you were the one opposite... you are beautiful! If you need it off for health reasons, sure. For guys? No. We are our own worst critics typically. My adopted daughter (as in no legal ties but daughter all the same) beats herself up all the time saying she is ugly or fat and she is most definitely neither. Guys definitely can be jerks. Don't take the wedding reaction personally, might have just been even if single, they don't want to be married. It likely had nothing to do with you directly. Just understand that what you once were isn't what you will always be. It is natural to gain some over our youth, it is more a matter of healthy over cosmetic. I was 185 most of my life, then when I started wirking as a welder doing a lot of heavy lifting I went up to 205. It is unreasonable for me to get back to 185 as I have more muscle mass, but by BMI I need to.
Just be comfortable with who you are and how you are. Know that anyone worth having will love you no matter the size you are.
You are beautiful and you have this glow about you like you just have a sweet and kind soul. I wish I could just give you a hug right now! I’m positive it wasn’t because of you that those men didn’t go for the garter. It’s just how men usually act at weddings. If you don’t feel good about yourself and want to lose the weight you gained, do it for you! You can do it and as hard as things seem, they get easier. Sending love!!
the garter situation you are reading all wrong!!! I've been to many receptions and men are just shy and dont like to participate in that way. I promise it wasnt because they didn't want to participate with you!!!!
You know even if u were slim ure bf would have still found something to criticize u for. The problem is he doesnt respect u and is a plain jerk. Put up boundaries. Dont let ppl in ure life. And body because of a lonely season. Make sure they are qualified to have u because if u act low value ppl will walk all over u
You're being too hard on yourself. Did you ever think that some of those guys were thinking "how can a dweeb like me, put a garter on a beauty like her!!!"? Don't make everything about you and your weight...people are dealing with their own insecurities. Gotta love you first. A person's weight should not determine how they are treated by others. Stay strong and stay blessed.
From like 90% of the weddings I've gone to, it's always hard to gather men around. I highly doubt it was because of you. Don't be so hard on yourself, take small steps and little by little you will see a change. Good luck
You are gorgeous! I think you look great. You gotta ro k who you are big, small, or in between. Be proud that you are a great mom and doing it on your own. The perfect person is out there and will fall in love with you for you curves and all!!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL but if you don’t feel it, it’s time to change because nothing is more beautiful and attractive then confidence!!! Trust the process and i promise you can do this sweetie ! Show the world the strong beautiful woman you know you are ! When the confidence comes, they will be swarming you
The whole time I read this, I kept wondering “Why did she go to a wedding dressed like a bride?” Then you say you’re on the right. Apologies to the bride, but you looked better than her! The only reason you feel that badly is because of that creepy ex. If you want to lose weight, we’re here for you, but I guarantee that’s not why guys didn’t want the garter. It’s more that they didn’t want to be linked to *anyone* and just wanted to party without being bugged. Guys aren’t into that whole thing. You need to see yourself in a better mirror 😉
You are gorgeous!!!!!! Seriously...... I just think your self-esteem is so low right now. You are absolutely beautiful. It’s great that you want to lead a healthier lifestyle but you truly are beautiful as you are. I’m sure the men were just shy
Why u worry when a man loves u not seen ur fatness or other.u try to makre youself brave personality and do make every relation with friend as wel as with husband.
U also try to reduce weight with some takecare.dont spend time with friends use time to controll ur weight with walking and be happy.donot consider that u r tall fat anymore plz.only act like brave baby.
i can't imagine how you see yourself but I do know that the way you see you is not how others see you. You have been through alot and your hurt is so embedded you think all men see you the way you see you, that is not true, sounds like the men you dated in the past only fit into your idea of your self worth. Value yourself in all stages of life, in all sizes you go through, value yourself from the inside out. It's hard to reach goals when your depressed start with emotional and spiritual health then move on to the physical. Statistics say men prefer an average of a size 12, they like curves and something to grab ahold of when cuddling with their mate. Many men like even bigger women. Don't think there is a standard cause there isn't as many people are on this earth that's how many opinions there are. And no two are alike. Embrace you. There is only one.
You are not fat and the garter situation had nothing to do with how you look. You are a pretty girl. Having a baby alone after 2 painful breakups has turned your world upside down. While I’m sure not looking as good as you want is a contributing factor to your low self esteem, I’m betting that you are mostly feeling alone and overwhelmed. Big losses and big changes have happened in a short time frame for you and you aren’t feeling yourself. I went through 2 breakups and an unplanned pregnancy 4 years ago and it all caused me to get very depressed and gain weight. The problem wasn’t the weight it was just a symptom. What helped me most was getting a therapist and surrounding myself with supportive people. You can and will feel better again. Being a single mom is so tough and wish I could give you a big hug. Enjoy your baby and be proud of yourself. You are much stronger than you feel you are right now. Just take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
First of all you are absolutely beautiful! I don't see an overweight person I see a beautiful woman who is a Mother! That is the most important thing on Earth! Don't let your weight make you feel less than some normal sized person! I am also overweight but I was 240 I lost 60 pounds in just over a year and only gained back 5 pounds. Please love your body now even though it's not your ideal body. Huggs!
You are very pretty. Please don't put yourself down. You only had a baby right months ago. I wish I looked as good as you eight months after a baby. I've been to plenty of weddings were the guys all got embarrassed by having to put the garter on. Usually the most drunken guy goes for it. Please get out of this negative state of mind. I'm regards to men you just haven't met the one yet. Any man that criticises your weight dump his ass. A real man will love you no matter your size. You're doing great as a single mom which is really hard. Forget about men until your self esteem is better. You look beautiful.
OMG you’re beautiful! You’re not fat at all, I read your words before seeing your picture and then I was really surprised that you were saying all these terrible things about this beautiful girl with the prettiest smile standing on the right in dark blue... Be kind to yourself and always remember that what attracts men the most is your self confidence, if you don’t believe in yourself and in how pretty and sexy you are then no one will! Even if you were the slimmest girl in the world
Don't believe the hype someone will love every inch of your body. Even when you can't. Lose weight for you if you want to, you aren't huge. And single guys NEVER like to do the garter, it wasn't you.
You are gorgeous, but you have to make up your mind to start loving yourself! No one else will do it for you. Once you start, there is no going back and you will get better and lose weight by taking care of yourself .
I have an 8 month old and a 2 year old and I out them in the stroller every weekday and go walking with them! I'm working towards it and used to use my kids as an excuse as to why I couldn't because I am a stay at home mom but now I am bringing them with me and feel so much better!
It actually breaks my heart to see a woman feeling that way, because of what a man did. Please don’t let any man treat you that way. God has created you and he loves you just the way you are. There is no other you.
I think when you have been very thin or slim most of your life and then you gain weight, you are constantly striving for the weight you was before. You cannot seem to get it from your head that you got from that to this and no matter how much you lose, you will always feel huge until you get back to how you used to be. You look beautiful but I understand 100% why you feel how you do about yourself. Take one day at a time and try and concentrate on the "now" you so you always remember to be proud of every step you take on your journey xxx
I only took a quick glimpse before reading your story. When I came to the end of the story and saw the photo. I'm not trying to offend anyone but I thought you might have weighed over 300lbs, which you certainly are not. Girl, you look good. You do not have a double chin and I think you look beautiful. So sorry that you had to hear such horrible things that these so called men said about you. It's not true! I hope you come to realize you're beautiful.
believe ANY of that stuff you think about yourself! I can't even believe when I saw you, you are so beautiful! Also you're not that big either, and so WHAT if you were! Your self esteem took pretty hard hits from shallow men, they're not all like that and it's not you it your size, it's absolutely THEM. I really hope you can believe that because it's the truth and you're beautiful in the outside already, what you do from here out concerning that had to be for YOU, because you love you and want to be healthy and happy the way you look, but ONLY for you! NEVER EVER make yourself look a certain way because you think that's the only way anyone will want you. It's not true anyway. I wish you healing in your spirit and self esteem and self confidence. You're valuable the way you are .
Men might look at the itty bitty thing next to you but they would rather bring you home for the night, trust me.
And men get nervous at weddings, it's not you, they hate that garter bs. None of the men want to be there except for, maybe, the groom lol For real, they'd rather be watching the game or porn.
You're hot, forget the dummies
You got a little curve and thats okay!! Even if you were thats fine too! The guy sounds like an asshole and you should drop him from your life other than his fatherly duties if he even wants those If you want to lose weight its going to be impossible if your only motivation is the way you look. Most people are not shallow enough for that to make them get up at the asscrack of dawn to workout for an hour. If you want to eat right and exercise it should be because it makes you feel better, makes you healthier physically and mentally, it makes you more awake and productive. And yes it makes you look great naked. But if you dont want to thats fine to because you are beautiful! Im always looking for accountability partners if you want to friend me and i can help you make a workout!!
Flip your language beautiful- you will be what you say you are and you’re currently running yourself down something terrible 😲. Sounds like you’ve had enough guys doing that for you - why are you doing it to yourself? From today onwards I want you to start a fresh relationship with your beautiful body - feel overwhelmingly grateful for I every day, tell yourself you’re beautiful every day, own it, love you because you deserve it. The weight will follow honey but you need to shift your attitude towards you first - nobody’s coming to save you or do it for you - you need to step and start showing yourself the respect you deserve vs treating yourself like those shirtless guys did. Show your beautiful baby how much Mum loves herselfso s/he can grow up living themselves too.
Much love to you beautiful- I know you have an abundance of strength and love within you - dig deep, bring it out for YOU every day.
You are so beautiful - it was heartbreaking to read this just trying to imagine what you are going through. Just take comfort in the fact that most guys don't actually want to play the garter game, most weddings I've been to they've had to be dragged out on the dance floor to catch it Do you currently have a plan for working out and nutrition?
Honestly I don’t think you’re as big as you’ve made out! You look great! And also most men aren’t into weddings like us women are! Most men go to weddings for an excuse to get drunk! Stop putting yourself down xx
Decide what your Health and Weight loss goals are for what you think is right for what you and what you need to keep up with your little one. Then make a plan and start implementing it. If you need any assistance please let me know.
YOU CAN READ: Do you eat breakfast? And if so, what do you eat?
YOU CAN READ: Do you eat breakfast? And if so, what do you eat?
My weight increased and I began to feel distrust, what should I do??
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